


Kissing Clara Oswald

by Inthelittledoctor



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reunion, Smut, Suppressed Feelings, post Last Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:25:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3815452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inthelittledoctor/pseuds/Inthelittledoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's decided that kissing Clara Oswald is like all of time and space exploding inside of him while the world around him goes blank." Clara's back in the TARDIS, and she couldn't be happier! Well, maybe a few changes could be made... Mindless Whouffaldi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She was back. She was finally back in the TARDIS, travelling side by side with the Doctor again. They still had to talk about a few things, but those things didn't matter right now. All that mattered was the fact that she was back. She was back in the place where she felt most at home, next to the man that she felt the most comfortable around. The man that showed her all of time and space and only asked for her companionship in return. So many times she had tried to escape this crazy life, but she hadn't been able to do it, because this crazy life was her life. It's the life she belonged in. It's the life she was the happiest in. To Hell with her normal boring school teacher life. All she needed was a blue box and a mad man to stay happy.

She watched as the Doctor rounded the console, passing her the occasional glance, grinning like a child on Christmas morning. She would grin lazily at him every time that he glanced at her, each time he looked away, a small smile would still be present on her lips. Every time that he would pass by her, grazing her lightly, her heart would flutter. He seemed to have that effect on her. Every little thing that he seemed to do that involved contact would send her heart flying and it would leave her a flustered mess. Sometimes it wasn't even physical contact. It was just the way he would look at her, like she was something fascinating and new that he had never seen before. Like she was the most beautiful thing in the universe and it would hurt too much to look directly at her, so those looks would just come in the occasional glance. She liked to think that she looked at him in the same way, like he was the most important thing in the universe to her. Because he was. She would like to think that he sometimes got that same look in his eyes that she did whenever she looked at him. The look of hope, lust, and love. She had only ever seen that look in his eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. She loved that look in his eyes. She just loved his eyes in general if she was being honest with herself.

The Doctor moved quickly around the console and stopped in front of her, spinning around so he was facing her. He looks down at her, a sheepish smile finding its way onto his face. Then there's that look. The one he's saved especially for her. She looks into his eyes and smiles back at him. He smirks and turns back around, nodding towards the lever next to him, signaling for her to come over. She does so and looks up at him, grinning. She places her hand firmly on top of the lever, giving him a confident smirk.

She had told him to show her the stars. So that's what he did. And oh how she had missed the stars. She had missed the way that they shined up close. She had missed the vastness of the universe and how she could feel so small and insignificant, but yet so high and mighty at the same time. She had missed the warmth of him by her side while they looked out at the stars. She had missed so much, but now they were back together. And she was looking out at the stars. Looking out into the emptiness of space, the only thing occupying that emptiness was the shining of stars that seemed so small.

As she looked out at the stars, she noticed the Doctor shift next to her. She glanced up at him and smiled slightly. Then she notices that he's not looking at the stars. He's looking at her. He's looking at the look of wonder in her eyes. He's looking at her with a look she's never seen before. She thinks that maybe he'll turn away, pretend like he never looked at her like that. But, no. Now he's raises one of his hands from his side so it can reach hers. He's intertwining his fingers with hers and smiling shyly, glancing out at the universe. Then he's looking back at her. A question in his eyes. A question that he had asked before. A question that made her head spin and her heart rate pick up, remembering what had happened the last time that he had asked her that question.

Then he's grinning, knowing the answer to his question before it even comes out of her mouth. She's already answered it. She answered it so long ago. Not with words, but with actions. Now he's looking out at the universe, words flowing out of his mouth. It sounds like he's on auto-pilot. He talks about the number of stars in the universe and about the planets, about the history of all of the surrounding planets. About the future and past and everything that has ever happened in all of time and space.

And then she squeezes his hand lightly, gaining his attention and causing him to stop talking. He looks at her, his eyes questioning why she had stopped him. She's standing on her tiptoes now, her head tilted up. Her breath is shallow and warm on his chin. Then her lips are on his cheek, giving him a chaste kiss and then pulling away slowly. They're looking each other in the eyes, both of them seeing the universe in the other's eyes. They're lost in their own world now, everything around has disappeared. Now they're leaning in closer to each other, their hands separating, their arms rapping around each other. Her forehead rests on his shoulder, tears leaving her eyes, moistening his waistcoat.

Then he does something very unexpected. He puts his hands on her shoulders and pushes her away gently. She looks up at him with a questioning look, her eyes still glistening with tears. Then his hand is on her cheek and his lips are on hers, her whole body stiffening. He starts to pull away, worried that he has ruined everything, but she grabs his lapels and pulls him back, her lips crashing together with his. She's running her hands through his hair, her nails lightly scratching the back of his head. He doesn't mind the scratching of her nails. He's too busy trying to memorize the feel of her lips and the taste of her.

He's decided that kissing Clara Oswald is like all of time and space exploding inside of him while the rest of the world around him goes blank. A swirl of emotions taking place inside of him, mixing his thoughts in his head making him unable to focus on any one thing. He was focusing on a million things at once. Her lips, her eyes, her hair, her nose, her. Every single thought he could focus on was something about her.

She decided that kissing the Doctor was like the whole universe giving off the most beautiful of light coming from an explosion of emotions. She thought that it was so gentle, yet so rough at the same time. So desperate, yet so loving. She saw stars imploding behind her eyelids, stirring even more emotions inside her if that was even possible. She felt thousands of supernovas exploding inside of her, shaking her body and causing her knees to become wobbly.

Then their lips separated and they both let out ragged breaths, resting their foreheads together. And the Doctor realizes something. He has just kissed Clara Oswald. He lets out an amused huff of laughter and Clara giggles. She puts a hand on his blush tinted cheek and smiles. She plants a gentle kiss on his lips, the kiss lasting for a little longer than it should. Then she pulls away and answers the question that she had seen in his eyes with four simple words.

"I see you, Doctor."


	2. Spinning and Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's decided that their relationship is like falling. Falling in and out of love. But now, she's fallen deeper than ever before and it seems as though he is falling with her. {Smut}

She likes to think that sometimes their relationship is like spinning and falling then getting right back up again. The spinning that causes confusion and dizziness and the occasional nausea. The falling, so deep and way too fast. The falling that you think is so wrong, but it feels so right. The getting back up, trying to convince yourself that you have not fallen and you were never even spinning in the first place. Getting back up has always been the hardest part of their relationship. When you get back up, you might expect to still feel symptoms of spinning, but she feels the fall. She remembers the exact moment that it happened and how it happened. And then she’s falling again, falling without even realizing it. Her heart rate picking up and her cheeks burning. She’s convinced herself that she won’t fall again, but it’s already happened by the time that she’s convinced. She never knows when the falling stops and the spinning begins again, but it doesn’t matter, because the spinning never lasts for long. 

 Now here she is, falling harder than ever before. His lips are attacking hers, all of his emotions being poured into one kiss. His teeth are grabbing her bottom lip, causing Clara to whimper. She’s opening her mouth, allowing him entrance. He's running his hands down her body, hooking his fingers on the waistband of her robe. Now he's untying her robe, pushing it off of her shoulders, his hands moving back down to her waist. He’s pushing her back up against the TARDIS railing and Clara’s not sure that she’ll ever be able to get back up again. She’s already fallen too hard.

He’s running his hands through her hair now, pulling a little bit too hard when his fingers get tangled in her hair. She’s moaning softly into his mouth, her hands gripping at the lapels of his coat, pulling him closer. She’s pushing him back towards the console, a gentle growl being emitted from him when he hits the console.

He’s pulling away from the kiss now, his forehead resting on hers, his breath coming out uneven. He’s mumbling questions filled with anxiety and laced with fear. His hands are untangling themselves from her hair and resting on her neck, his fingers gently rubbing the back of her neck. She’s silencing his questions with small, comforting kisses, letting him know that everything is going to be okay. He’s grinning sheepishly then, his hands moving down to her shoulders. His lips touch hers gently, allowing her to feel a sense of comfort and a softness that she’s never expected from him before. 

The kiss is getting less chaste now, the chasteness being replaced by a deep intimacy. He’s pushing her away from the console then, guiding her to the bedroom. Their clothes are being scattered across the corridors, robes, shirts, and waistcoats, their hands roaming new untouched territory on the other’s body. They’re stumbling into the bedroom, falling onto the bed and dissolving into a mess of giggles and laughter.

He's resting his forehead on hers, trying to get his laughter under control. She's giggling and placing her hands on his cheek, kissing him over and over. And now she's laughing as he fumbles to kick off his shoes. She's flipping him over so she's on top, nuzzling his neck, trying to suppress her giggles. He's enveloping her in his arms, his laughter subsiding, a silly grin finding its way onto his face. He kisses the top of her head and moves his hands down to her waist, flipping her back over again. 

Now she's looking up at him and pouting, her hands planted firmly on his torso. Then he's laughing again, kissing her nose and whispering apologise. She's smiling now, her hands moving down his chest, her fingers hooking onto his waistband. And then his laughter stops abruptly, his face being taken over by a look of arousal. 

And now here she is falling, even though she's sure that she can't fall any deeper. And she's now quite sure, but she thinks that she can feel him falling too. She slides her hands towards the centre of his trousers and unbuttons them slowly. Her hands slide up his torso and she feels his hands twitch slightly on her hips. She gently kisses his collar bones, her hands venturing down his body. 

Now she's unzipping his trousers, pulling them off, laughing when they get stuck halfway. He's laughing along with her, telling her not to laugh. She finishes taking off his trousers and kisses his lips gently. She starts to pull away, but now he's grabbing her wrists and pinning her down, planting his lips on hers and kissing her hungrily. He's grinding his hips into hers, his hands letting go of her wrists and encasing her face. 

She puts her hands on his chest and pushes him lightly. He pulls away and growls quietly. And that's when she knows. She knows that she's fallen so deep that there's no getting up. She feels the sensation of spinning and falling all at once, but she feels no uncertainty or fear. She looks into his eyes, trying to find that same feeling in his eyes, and somewhere in a distant part of his eyes, hidden away very well by a fog of lust, is that feeling. And now there's fear in his eyes. She's stopped making moves. He's scared that she's regretting everything that's just happened. He's scared that she's going to push him away and pretend like this never happened. 

'Clara?' He asks, his voice filled with a hidden sadness. 

'I love you,' She whispers. 

His eyes widen and his hands move down to her neck, his thumbs absentmindedly stroking the skin there. He stares at her for a second, a sparkle in his eyes. 

'I love you too, Clara Oswald.' He whispers. 

And now she's kissing him hungrily, her hands trailing down his body, grabbing onto his undergarments and tugging. He's swatting her hand away and mumbling,'Too much clothing. Take it off.' Her cheeks turn a rosy pink as she quickly lets go of his undergarments and grabs the hem of her nightgown. She's roughly pulling it over her head and throwing it onto the floor. Now she's unclasping her bra, taking it off quickly and throwing it on the floor. 

He's looking down at her, his eyes filled with awe and lust. He's quickly taking off his undergarments, then hers. He plants his mouth on her neck and sucks roughly. Now she's crying out, her hands grabbing onto his sides, her nails digging into his back. He's trailing kisses down her body, stopping when he gets to her belly button. He's looking up at her, his eyes asking for permission. She's nodding slightly, but then pulling him up. Now she can feel his arousal pushing up against her. 

'Doctor,' She whispers, the word just barely coming out. 

'Clara,' He breathes. 

And with that, he’s lowering himself into her, his hands planting themselves on the bed beside her. He's moving slowly and swiftly, being as delicate as possible. She's moving her hips in tune with his now, her hands bunching up handfuls of sheets.   He's burying his face into her neck, whimpering and nuzzling her neck, his thrusts becoming faster. She's curling up into him, biting down into his shoulder to try and suppress the noises she's making. 

And then his thrusts stop and he's moving his head away from her neck so he can look at her. And then he's laughing and nuzzling her neck again, whispering 'I love you' over and over. She's moving back from his shoulder and kissing his ear, giggling and whispering 'I love you too' each time she takes a ragged breath out. 

Then he's biting her collarbone and sucking. Now he's thrusting again, starting slowly then going as fast as he can, using all of his might. She's trying to meet his thrusts and moaning in ecstasy. Then she's arching her back, throwing her head back and now she's laughing and moaning at the same time. Then he's changing his angle and it all becomes just a bit too much for her. 

Now she's seeing stars and crying out, her climax causing her to tighten around him. He's shouting her name now, his breath becoming ragged. He's nuzzling his nose into her neck and whimpering, his arms enveloping her tiny frame. He's mumbling Gallifreyian into her neck and peppering her with kisses. Then she's relaxing, wrapping her arms around him and smiling contently. He's falling to her side, placing a kiss on her temple.

Then, in the blink of an eye, she's fallen asleep and he's intertwining his legs with hers. Now he's falling asleep in her arms, a smile finding it's way onto his face. And here they are, both of them falling deeper than they've fallen before. Except, this time they aren't scared to fall, because they know that they have each other to catch them. This time, they aren't scared because they know that the other is falling with them. This time they aren't scared of falling because they have each other, and they couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please comment telling me if you want another chapter or just a whole other fanfic. Please leave a kudos if you liked this chapter and thanks for reading!


	3. The Sun and the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's realised that she is like his sun and he is like her stars. They both light up each other's lives in the best of ways and when the other is gone, there's only darkness it seems.

The Doctor has decided that Clara Oswald is his sun and he’s her stars. She shines so bright in his life. Without her, it seems like he’s stuck in darkness and she’s his only way to get back to the light. Because she is the light. She’s the thing in his life that shines the brightest and seems to always find a way to make things brighter. She was the sun that he didn’t deserve. And he was her stars. Scattered about her sky, brightening up her life every time that he came into it. He was her stars, shining radiantly and brilliantly whenever she looked at him. The stars didn’t deserve the sun. And the sun deserved better than the stars. So why was the sun, his sun, trying to be with the stars? It was impossible. Because nobody ever saw the sun and the stars together at the same time. But, she was impossible and she made impossible things happen. And as for him, he was impossible too. Her impossible man. So maybe, against all odds, the sun and the stars could be together. Because they were impossible. 

Now here she his, his sun, laying in his arms, her legs intertwined with his. He looks down at her and realizes that even when she’s sleeping she shines. He’s pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, smiling and pulling her closer to him. She’s fidgeting around slightly now, her breathes becoming less shallow. She’s moaning slightly, burying her face into his chest. He’s smiling, kissing the top of her head.

‘Good morning, Clara Oswald,’ he whispers. 

She’s nuzzling into his chest, humming in response. Now she’s wrapping her arms around him and laughing lightly. She looks up at him. She’s shining, her smile seeming to brighten up everything around her. Then she’s moving her head up closer to his, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Her lips linger on his for a moment, just long enough for him to cup her cheek and kiss her again. This time, the kiss is less chaste, the chasteness is replaced by hunger. He's kissing her hungrily, planting a hand firmly on her hip. Then she's whimpering, pulling away from the kiss, resting her forehead on his.   
‘Too early,’ She's whispering.

Then he's nodding, planting one more gentle kiss on her lips and then sitting up. She's pushing herself and reaching for his wrist.

‘Where're you going?’ She's asking, a hint of sadness in her voice.

‘Breakfast,’ He's replying simply, looking back at her and smiling.

Then she's laughing quietly, moving over to him and wrapping her arms around him from behind. He's fidgeting around, telling her that he's not the hugging type. Then she's laughing louder, kissing the crook of his neck and hugging him tighter. And that's when he realises something. The sun is not her in general. The sun is every little thing that she's done or will do. The sun is every little thing about her that he notices. The sun is all of her. Everything about her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her bravery. Her kindness towards others. Every little thing that makes her, her. That is what makes her his sun.   
Now he's realised that she's stopped laughing and her arms have relaxed around him. She's sucking his neck lightly, nibbling at sensitive parts of his skin. Then he's closing his eyes and laughing quietly. And now she's stopping, looking up at him with tired eyes. He's opening his eyes and looking at her, smiling.   
‘Breakfast,’ he repeats. 

And then she's realising something. He's the light in her life. The thing that always seems to make her happy. And she's realising that he's much like the stars. Little specs of light, scattered about her life. And each spec of light was something different about him. Something he'd done. Something he'd do. Something little that she would notice about him. Each star represented something about him. A light to her darkness. And then she's shaking her head, telling him to stay.  
‘Breakfast can wait,’ she's whispering.

Then she's on his lap, her lips crashing into his. She's squirming around, her bum rubbing up against him. He's groaning, his hand finding its way into her hair. She's kissing the side of his lips, her kisses trailing down to his jaw. Then her kisses are moving down to his neck and she's lingering on the places that seem most sensitive.

‘I thought that it was too early for this,’ he growls quietly, his breaths becoming deeper and more rapid.  
‘Something changed,’ she purrs, placing her hands on his chest.

Now he's grinning wickedly and wrapping his arms around her. He's pulling her close to him and standing up, carrying her to the doorway. She's yelling at him, telling him to put her down. She's kicking and hitting him, but he's just laughing. And then she's laughing. He's putting her down and flapping his hand towards the blanket on the bed, telling her to get it. Then she's glaring at him, telling him to get it himself. And then he's picking her up bridal style and walking over to the bed, throwing her onto it and picking up his boxers. He's quickly putting them on and then picking her back up again, picking the blanket up along with her. Then he's throwing the blanket onto her and walking to the kitchen with her in his arms.

Now he's putting her down in a kitchen chair, planting a gentle kiss on her temple while she wraps the blanket around herself. Then he's walking over to the counter and looking around, asking her what she wants. And her, having just woke up a few minutes ago, says the only thing that comes to mind. 

‘You.’

And as soon as that's said, he spins around quickly, staring at her in shock. And then she's furrowing her brow, confused at why he's in shock. But then her confusion quickly subsides when he turns around a plants his hands on the counter, clearing his throat and grumbling. Oh, she's thinking, he's just going to pretend like this never happened. She's standing up, holding the blanket around herself tightly. 

‘Doctor,’ she's saying, her voice questioning. 

Then he's looking down at the counter. ‘Clara Oswald,’ he sighs.

She's walking over to his side,’ Tell me what you're thinking.’

Now he's laughing sadly and quietly, taking his hands off of the counter and looking at her. Then he's reaching his hands out to touch her, only to pull his hands back and take in a sharp intake of breath.

‘You are the sun,’ he starts,’You're so bright and cheerful and somehow, you always manage to make things brighter. You are amazing and brilliant and radiant and...and I'm just the stars. The sun deserves to see the daytime and all of the people smiling and laughing. And the stars deserves the nighttime. The darkness and shadows that are only there when the stars are out. The stars do not deserve the sun. And the sun deserves better than the stars. The sun and the stars are distant, as they should be. But right now, what is happening is impossible. The sun and stars being together is impossible. And-’ 

She's standing on her tip toes and pressing her lips to his. She lingers there for a second, a smile forming on her lips. And then she's laughing gently against his lips. Now he's closing his eyes and grabbing her arm, kissing her roughly. She's responding in kind, her hands moving to his shoulders. Then he's scooping her up and placing her on the counter, his hand finding its way to her thigh. She's wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling away from the kiss, resting her forehead on his. He's catching his breath, a faint hint of a smile on his lips. And then she's cupping his cheeks and looking into his eyes.

‘Nothing is impossible with us two. Haven't you already realised that?’ She's whispering, her voice sincere.

And then he's sighing and moving his hands down to her knees, mumbling,’Clara Clara Clara...’

Now he’s turning around and taking a step away from her. And then she’s frowning and jumping off of the counter. He’s turning around and looking down at her, frowning slightly. 

‘Are we okay?’ She’s asking. 

He’s running his hand down his face, opening his mouth to say something but then closing it slowly. He’s looking at her for a second and then he’s cupping her cheek and swooping down to kiss her. She’s putting a hand on the back of his neck and melting into the kiss. He’s pulling away and breathing out a laugh. And then she’s laughing,’Was that a yes?’

He’s grinning and nodding,’For now, yes.’

His voice is filled with joy and love and it makes her smile. Then she’s laughing and wrapping her arms around him. He’s moving his arms around, trying to find a comfortable place to put them. He’s sighing and resting his hands on her hips. 

‘I love you,’ She’s saying, her words being muffled by his chest.

He’s looking down at her and smiling contently, his hearts skipping a beat when she looks up at him. She’s moving up to her tip toes and kissing his cheek, pulling away quickly and grinning at him. He’s grinning back at her and that’s when he realises that maybe she was right. Maybe nothing was impossible with the two of them. Together, they seemed to be impossible. The impossible girl and the impossible man. So, why couldn’t they be together? It may be impossible, but that wasn’t going to stop them. They did impossible things. And this was just another one of the impossible things that they were going to do.   
Now he’s looking down into her eyes as her grin turns into a smile. He sees the sun in her eyes. He sees the shine that seems to be lighting up the whole room. And she sees the stars in his eyes. Each individual sparkle that she loves so much. And as their looking into each other’s eyes, they’re both realising that they can make this work. They will make this work. Because they have each other, and when they’re together, nothing is impossible.

She’s his sun. He’s her stars. And together, they’re impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm currently working on another story at the moment (It's going to be called Constellations and Contemplation) and I'm very excited to share it with you guys! If you want another chapter of this, then please tell me so!


	4. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clara tries to calm the storm inside of The Doctor.

She's found out that he's a storm. An uncontrollable storm that destroys everything around him. He's the storm after the calm. The thing you never expect until it's actually there. He hadn't started like this, she knows. Centuries of pain and sadness had done this to him. It'd turned him cold and cruel. She'd wanted to help him. She'd wanted to calm down the storm inside of him, make him happy and less of a danger to those around him. But she's found out that even the strongest of people can't stop a storm. 

She's tried to stop him. She's tried to lower the casualties. She's tried to hold him back. She's tried being the storm. 

Nothing ever seemed to calm him down. Except for her. When she was around, he seemed kinder, less cruel. He seemed to be holding back the storm brewing inside him whenever she was around. And now, as she sits on the counter in front of him, his hand cupping her cheek, his eyes gentle, she realises something. There's no storm behind his cold eyes like there usually is. His eyes shine, filled with something sweet that makes her heart want to jump out of her chest. He seems oblivious to the universe around him, the only thing mattering to him sitting right in front of him. And then she's closing her eyes and taking a deep breath out. 

He's a storm. He's hurt so many, yet she still loves him. She loves him for everything that he is or will be. And then she's mumbling the words she promised to another man. The words she promised never to say again, but had already said. She's mumbling words that are more than just words. She's mumbling a promise. 

'I love you.'

And then, the storm is back in his eyes. He's moving his hand off of her cheek and whispering the promise back to her, quickly taking a step away. And then he's apologising and fumbling over to the other side of the kitchen, muttering something under his breath. 

This is the storm that she gets to see. The storm that's scared. The storm that shies away from sunlight. The storm that's afraid to be a storm. 

Then she's hopping off the counter and sighing, taking slow steps towards him,'Doctor.'

And his eyes are darting towards her, a quiet grunt sounding as a reply.

'Is something wrong?'

He's shaking his head, glancing towards the doorway and shifting slightly. Then she's taking her final step towards him and gently placing her hand on his chest. 

'Are you sure?' she's asking softly.

And then he's grabbing her wrist and throwing her hand away, striding out of the room. She's sighing and looking at the doorway, walking back to the counter and leaning back on it. Then she's looking down and laughing sadly, gripping the counter behind her. 

'Clara?'

She's looking up at the doorway and her breath is hitching,'Doctor.'

He's taking a step into the kitchen, pushing his hands into his pockets,'I'm sorry.'

She's smiling slightly, pushing off of the counter,'Apology accepted.'

And then he's swooping over to her and putting his hand on the back of her neck, kissing her like it's the last time he'll be able to. She's letting out a surprised noise and pushing him away. He's grunting quietly and taking his hand off her neck, putting it back in his pocket. He's looking down and kicking the ground lightly. And then she's sighing and apologising, putting her hand on the crook of his neck, telling him to look up. And he's looking up at her, his eyes sad. 

'I need to know,' she's saying,'Why you're always running away from me.'

And then he's looking into her eyes, opening his mouth and then closing it. Her hand's moving to his wrist, her fingers gently wrapping around it. 

'I'm scared,' he's murmuring. 

'What're you scared of?' She's asking quietly. 

'You. I'm scared of losing you. I'm scared of getting close to you. I'm scared of loving you,' he's saying, his voice gravelly. 

And then she's kissing him, and he's kissing her back, his hands moving out of his pockets to cup her cheeks. He stumbling forwards and she's stumbling back, their kiss deepening. She's hitting the counter and he's quickly pulling away, a flash of fear in his eyes. 

'Stop living in fear, Doctor,' She's whispering. 

And with that, he's giving her one last look, and then the storm is dying down and his lips are being planted on hers. But instead of the long kiss she was expecting, he just gives her a short chaste kiss. She's looking at him, her eyebrow raising and a look of confusion on her face. 

Then he's laughing, taking his hands off her cheeks and grabbing her hands. 

'Come on, follow me,' he's saying. 

And then he's letting go of one of her hands and running out of the kitchen, having her run after him, clutching his hand tightly. He's running to her room and throwing the door open, taking a step in and then letting go of her hand, pushing her lightly towards the bed. He's closing the door behind him and then looking at her with a devious look in his eyes. 

'Doctor,' She's saying sceptically,'What're you doing?'

And then he's walking towards her, stopping a step away from her. Then he's putting his index finger on her chin, tilting her head up towards him while he leans down so that his nose is just barely grazing hers. 

'Doctor,' she's breathing out.

'Clara Oswald,' he's whispering, tilting his head. 

And then his hands are on her hips and she's looking at him as though he's mad. Which in all honestly, was true. Then he's smirking, telling her to go lay on the bed and she's frowning. 

'Really?' She's saying,'You dragged me all of the way in here just so we could sleep together?'

'Do as you're told,' he's whispering, placing a gentle kiss on her lips and taking his hands off her hips. 

And so she's sighing and turning around, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it,'You do realise that you could've just asked me instead of dragging me in here, right?'

'We aren't in your room because I wanted to sleep with you again,' he's saying, taking cautious steps towards her,'We're in here because I needed to talk to you and this talk could potentially end in one of two ways, one of those ways being you throwing things at me. And I'd rather not get a kitchen knife thrown at me anytime soon, which is why we moved in here.'

And then he's sitting down next to her, reaching out to hold her hand and then pulling away. Then the storm is back, slowly building it's way back up to a full fledged storm. And she's scared. She can't lose him to the storm again. So she's grabbing his hand, squeezing it lightly. 

And then he's starting,'I'm a Time Lord. I'm going to outlive you and eventually move on from you because you are just a human with a lifespan that is just like the blink of an eye for me.'

She's nodding, opening her mouth to say something only to have him give her a look that tells her she's best not to say anything. The storm is building, and she has no clue how to stop it, no matter how bad she wants to. 

'I don't want to continue to do whatever this is we're doing because I don't want to hurt you,' he's saying. 

And then her eyes are widening and there's a moment of silence before she blurts out,'I love you.'

'I love you too, Clara Oswald, but we can't keep doing what we've been doing.'

'Why not?' She's asking, determination in her voice. 

'Because I don't want to hurt you,' he's saying, the storm building up inside him. 

And with that she's letting go of his hand and unleashing a storm of her own,'If you think that you can get rid of me that easily, then you're wrong. You mean so much to me and I'm not letting go of you that easily. You're going to have to fight to get rid of me if you really want to. I don't know what I love you means to you, but to me, it means that I care about you so much that I want to stay by your side for as long as possible because you make me happier than anyone else that I've ever met. You make me feel like there's this whole other side of life that I never experienced until I met you. I love you, Doctor. Nothing's going to change that. So if you're going to get rid of me, then you're going to have to actually try and not just tell me that you love me but you want to break up.'

'Clara,' he's sighing. 

She's looking down at his hands and taking a shaky breath out, her storm quickly dying down. And as she goes to look back up at him, she notices something. His storm is gone. 

'Why do you always build up walls around yourself when you're around me?' She's asking. 

'Because,' he's whispering,'Like I said earlier, I'm scared.'

And then his hand is finding hers and his fingers are intertwining with hers. She's looking at him for a moment before swooping toward him and kissing him, planting her free hand on his chest. He's grunting quietly and kissing her back, his hand finding it's way to her lower back. And then she's on his lap, straddling him. Then he's pulling away from the kiss and resting his forehead on hers.

And then there's a storm of a whole other kind in his eyes. A storm of lust and love. But of course, she knows, he's going to deny himself of that storm brewing inside him. He's going to ignore how he feels and then quickly apologise and leave. And then to her surprise, he's kissing her again, moving his hands to her waist. Then she's pushing him back with the hand still planted on his chest, causing him to laugh gently against her lips and move back on the bed, having her follow him and position herself above him. And then they're kissing again and her hands are roaming his bare chest and she's realising something very obvious that she probably should've realised earlier. 

She's still completely naked. 

And then she's giggling against his lips and he's smiling, laughing under her. Then she's laughing, taking her lips off of his and making it so their noses are just barely touching. 

'I've just realised something,' he's whispering.

'And what's that?' She's asking, a smile still playing at her lips. 

'I'm completely and utterly in love with you,' he's saying, his voice deep and just above a whisper. 

Then she's giggling again and whispering,'I hate to inform you of this, but it does seem as though that I am completely and utterly in love with you too.' 

And then he's laughing and placing his hands on her hips, kissing her again, only to have her laugh one last time against his lips and kiss him back. 

It's impossible to stop a storm, she's found out. There will always be storms inside of him, and there's nothing she can do to stop that. All she can do is wait for the bad storms to ride out and look forward to the good ones. The good storms that she knows will come if she just stays by his side. If she stays by his side and let's him know that she's going to be there for him, no matter what happens, good or bad. Because she's his and he is hers and no matter what, she isn't giving up on him. He needs her as much as she needs him, so she'll stay by his side as long as she can, making sure that he knows that she'll always be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! Next chapter probably won't be out anytime soon. Maybe it will though, I have no clue. Sorry this chapter took so long! Some things came up! Please don't forget to leave a comment if you would like to!


	5. The Beginning and End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beginning and End. Angst.

She's his beginning, and he's her end. She's the one that keeps him in the present, assuring that he's safe and he's the one that makes sure she's alive and happy. She was his beginning to a new life of happiness and love, showing him how to finally feel something other than pain again. She showed him how to live again, making saving planets something to actually enjoy instead of dread. He was her end, ending her boring life on Earth and showing her something new and exciting. 

He was also the end of her. 

He'd thought they'd just go on a simple trip to a planet, stretch out after spending so much time on the TARDIS. Get a distraction from all the spinning and falling that was going on when they were cooped up together. He'd taken her to a planet he thought he could trust. One where she would be safe and the natives would be friendly. But he overshot, as per usual. It'd been fine at first, they'd run into no native and they'd found some new things, which excited him beyond belief seeing as though he never found new things. 

She's telling him she loves him as he looks at her like a giddy five year old with a new discovery in hand. His expression's quickly turning into one of love as he tells her he loves her back, his voice happier than she's heard it in a long time. She's grinning at him as he continues to drone on about his new findings, following him as he waltzes forward. She's subconsciously slipping her hand into his at some point, feeling his hand tighten around hers as she does so. 

He's leading them to a village, and as soon as they get there, he's noticing something's wrong. She's noticing absolutely nothing wrong and continuing to walk forward, only to have him pull her back roughly. He's putting his lips up to her ear, whispering harshly into it, telling her something was wrong. She's looking over at him and telling him that they should investigate, find out what's wrong and see if he's even right about something being wrong. 

So they're investigating, digging around the town and finding no natives and nothing of significance. That is until they walk into the most insignificant house to investigate and end up finding one of the natives in there, clad in something that looks like armour. It's asking them to help, telling them that something gone wrong, which causes him to look at her and wiggle his eyebrows, proud that he'd been right. She's hitting his arm lightly and telling it to continue, so it does, telling them about the race they're at war with and how their child had been taken. He's noticing something off about the story, but he can't quite place what. Her, not having any prior knowledge of this race and it's history, jumps at the chance to save a child and gladly tells it she'll do so. 

And then she's walking up to it, shaking it's hand and promising to bring it's child back safe. It's holding it's hand out to him, only to have him tell it that he doesn't do the whole 'physical contact' thing and walk out of the house. She's following him out, grabbing his hand and telling him that what he did was rude, informing him that he would be getting a lecture once they got back to the TARDIS. He's groaning slightly, not looking forward to that lecture in the slightest. 

About five minutes into their journey, she starts to feel faint, so she's sitting down, him offering to scan her with his sunglasses. She's telling him she's probably just tired and he's mumbling something under his breath, begrudgingly putting his sunglasses back into his coat pocket, sitting down next to her. He's entwining his fingers with her and looking at her, a worried look in his eyes. She's looking over at him, her lips curving downward as she sees the worried look in his eyes. 

'I'm fine,' she's whispering, trying to sound reassuring,'Just a little lightheaded, that's all.'

She's leaning forward and kissing him, trying to prove that she was fine. He's kissing her back for a moment, pulling away with a grimace on his face. 

'You taste weird,' he's stating, his voice confused. 

She's furrowing her brow at him, opening her mouth to say something, only to close it, deciding that she really didn't know what she wanted to say. They're sitting there in silence for a moment, him simply staring at her, trying to figure out what to do. He's pulling out his sunglasses again, raising an eyebrow as her. She's nodding reluctantly and he's putting them on, pressing the middle button and letting his sunglasses scan her. He's staring at the results in disbelief as he sees them, trying to convince himself they weren't real.

She was poisoned. Poisoned with one of the most deadly poisons in the universe. A poison that soaks into the skin and enters the bloodstream, rendering the victim useless in the first thirty minutes and then dead after an hour. There was no cure. The poison was too strong for there to be a cure. He's whipping off his glasses and shoving them into his coat pocket, standing up. She's standing up after him, asking him what's wrong with her, only to get no reply. 

He's beginning to stride forward, searching for the nearest shelter. He's finding one rather quickly and making his way into it, still not saying a word to her. She's following him in, a look mixed between anger and confusion on her face. 

'Would you mind telling no me what the hell is going on?' She's questioning angrily, trying to stay brave and hope the best about her condition. 

'You're poisoned,' he's saying, trying not to choke out the words. 

Her eyes are widening as she's asking,'How?'

'Must've been when you shook that alien's hand. He tricked you, Clara. The natives of this planet don't have children. They stay in eggs until they're fully matured, and those eggs are made from this planets technology,' he's replying, trying to explain without rambling. 

'So you can fix me, yeah? Get the poison out of me?' She's asking, hope in her voice. 

'I can't,' he's saying, his tone serious,'You're poisoned with one of the strongest and most effective poisons in the universe. There was no cure made for it. I can't save you, Clara. I'm sorry.' 

'No,' she's breathing out, her words getting louder as she continues,'It can't end like this! I'm not done with you yet! I'm not done living!' 

He's letting out a breath and walking over to her and looking down at her, saying simply,'It's okay to be scared, Clara.'

She's gripping his shirt tightly with both hands and resting her head on his chest, letting tears spill out of her eyes, soaking the soft fabric of his shirt. Her sobs are shaking her small frame, her uneven breaths causing her to shiver in between sobs. 

'I love you,' she's choking out, her voice high. 

'I know,' he's whispering, wrapping an arm around her. He couldn't say it back. It would make this too final, make him lose any hope of saving her. 

'I need you to do me a favour,' he's saying quietly after a moment, his voice sad. 

She's looking up at him now and loosening her grip on his shirt, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

He's leaning down towards her, his eyes boring into hers as he's whispering,'Be brave for me, Clara Oswald.'

He's placing a gentle kiss on her lips before placing his forehead on hers, a tear rolling down his cheek. He's cupping her cheek, his thumb lightly stroking over where her dimple usually was. He'd give anything to see that dimple again, just one last time, his sun shining as she always did. 

'I love you so much,' she's whispering, her voice raw. 

He's laughing weakly and saying sadly,'I'm well aware.'

'Please,' she's pleading, her voice barely there,'Just say it back. I know it's hard for you, but I just want to hear those words from you one last time.'

He's searching her eyes, trying to remember every little thing about them, knowing this was the last time he'd see them. His eyes are stopping their search as he sees a built up tear fall from her eye, gently making its way down her reddened cheeks. 'I love you, Clara Oswald,' he's whispering, his voice filled with love and sadness. 

'Thank you,' she's whispering, a tear finding its way down her other cheek. 

'I will always love you, Clara,' he's mumbling, resting his forehead on hers. 

He isn't telling her all the things he's always wanted to say to her, knowing that her end was near and he didn't want to waste her last moments. Instead of saying all the things he wanted to, he simply apologised, telling her he could've prevented this. She's shaking her head no and telling him that what was happening to her right now wasn't just fault, it was her decision and she had gone through with it. 

'What am I to do without you, Clara Oswald?' He's questioning, his voice dripping with sorrow. 

'What you always do,' she's replying, her tone hopeful with a hint of sorrow,'Save the Universe.'

He's smiling sadly at her,'Without you?'

'I'll always be with you,' she's sighing, hitting his chest lightly. 

'Your echoes aren't you, Clara.'

'That's not what I was talking about, daft old man,' she's whispering,'So long as you remember me, I will always be with you.'

Another tear is finding it's way down his cheek and he's kissing her one last time, trying to pour all of the love he can into it. She's trying to show that love back to him, but she's too overwhelmed with fear and sadness to be able to portray the amount of love that he was. She's pulling away and getting a quick glance at his eyes before she rests her forehead on his chest, seeing his usual storm intensified in them. He was losing her and there was nothing he could do to stop that. 

She's losing herself a few moments later going limp against him and beginning to slip down onto the floor, having him encase her in his arms and pull her up, ensuring she doesn't fall on the floor. Tears are spilling out of his eyes as he holds her, burying his face in her hair and whispering her name over and over. He's picking her up bridal style after a few moments, a look of sorrow on his face. He's carrying her to the TARDIS, trying to hold back sobs as he holds her limp body in his arms. He's kicking the TARDIS door open roughly and quickly making his way to her room, placing her down on her bed. He's placing a gentle kiss on her forehead and sitting on the side of the bed next to her, pressing his forehead to hers, trying to enter. Her mind and wake her for just a few more moments. 

His efforts are proving useless as she continues to just lay there, lifeless. He's choking out a sob and wrapping his arms around her, crying into her stomach. He's finally told her how he felt and he'd finally found out how she felt about him, and they were happy. So happy. But now here she was, dying in his arms, him unable to do anything about it. 

'I love you, Clara,' he's whispering, his words just barely there, masked by his sobs. 

Shes stirring under him and he's feeling hope swell up inside of him, looking up to see her eyes opened ever so slightly. He's saying her name, jumping up towards her and cupping her cheek, asking her if she's okay. She's laughing weakly and telling him that she's dying, so not really. He's feeling a test run down his cheek, surprised that he still has anymore in him. She's telling him she doesn't have much time left and that it's hard to hold on, feeling his hand slip into hers and telling her to hold onto anything that can keep her with him for longer. So she's holding onto him, telling him she loves him more than anything. And he's believing her, knowing that if she didn't love him she wouldn't chose to have some of her last words be that. 

Then something strange is happening and she's having a phrase pop into her head. A phrase that she is very familiar with and has said millions of times over and over again, always right before she dies. 'Run,' she's whispering, reaching up and cupping his cheek,'Run you clever man. And remember me.' 

And with that, her eyes are drifting shut, the world around her fading. Her hands slipping off his cheek and falling down onto the bed, any last signs of life in her now dissipating. He's begging her not to go, telling her he still needs her. She doesn't hear him, she's already long gone. He's cradling her lifeless body in his arms, crying into her shoulder until he has no tears left to cry, and even after that, he's continuing to sob into her shoulder. He's eventually collapsing from exhaustion, falling asleep next to her dead body, holding it tightly even in his sleep. 

He's waking up the next morning to see her body gone, knowing that the TARDIS moved it to somewhere else. He's getting up to locate her and finding her lying peacefully in the med bay. He's feeling tears come to his eyes as he looks at her, trying to keep it together and not have a repeat of last night. 

He's having the TARDIS take her to a place where she can have a proper burial, making sure to leave her credentials and her approximate time of death. He'd dropped her off in the future so she can have the proper amount of year she lived on her tombstone, knowing that every year counted. He's quickly leaving, sauntering back into the TARDIS and taking off, landing in deep space. He mourns her for awhile, just sitting there, staring off into space, thinking about all the things they did together and all the things they never got to do together. 

He's stopping his moping after a while, remembering what she'd told him to do after she died. He's moving to the console and pulling a lever laughing lightly as he remembers her words, remembering the way she had said them, the way she'd been so sincere. And with though words planted firmly in his hearts, he's going, and he's saving the universe. For Clara Oswald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I'm currently an emotional mess after what just happened on Doctor Who, so I'm just going to make this note short. This is the end of Kissing Clara Oswald, I hope you enjoyed. Kudos if you liked it and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
